By Butch Galicia
In the next 50 or so dawns-to-dusks and another three great 80-page thick issues of Balita, an expected 75 percent of some 55 million registered Filipino voters will go out and cast ballots in nearly 93,000 clustered polling precincts spread across the Philippine archipelago (7,641 islands on last count, depending on whether the tide is high or low) and in diplomatic missions abroad, where overseas Filipino workers and citizens abound.
On May 9, during the country’s 16th presidential polls since 1935, voters will elect the republic’s next president and vice president, in a democratic exercise that will cost taxpayers some 32.4 billion Philippine pesos. (One Canadian dollar is 35 Philippine pesos. It’s not gonna happen, buddy. Doing the math drives me nuts.)
That same day, electors will also vote for 12 senators; 297 congressmen; the governors, vice governors and board members in 81 provinces; the mayors, vice mayors and council members in 145 cities and 1,489 municipalities; and the governor, vice governor and 24 assemblymen of the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao.
Interesting! For a small country and all in a day’s vote, that’s a lot of work. You think so too?
Lest I forget, the barangay (village) elections for barangay captains, council members and youth council representatives in 42,028 Philippine villages will be in October.
Yawn! It’s time for a nap, folks.
*****
Perhaps, you may stay alert and awake if we share notions about more important earthshaking topics e.g. the March 7 naming of the twin panda cubs at the Toronto Zoo, the March 8 celebration of International Women’s Day, a total solar eclipse and an asteroid fly-by on March 9, how Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and American President Barack Obama traded hockey barbs on March 10, the DST that made Toronto time spring forward an hour on March 13, the above-seasonal record high temperatures during the March Break, and so on and so forth.
Enough of the trivia? I think so too.
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Okay, ok! But do you know that despite attracting so much flak, Philippine elections are really very eye-opening, exciting, and worth the wail … ehe, I mean wait?
Here is a case in point:
‘Di Uurong! Sadyang wagas. To persuade Filipino voters, poll bets and their fanatics will persist on doing anything. Gory though the allegory may be, a bright mind came up with: Curry30, mahusay na basketbolista; EDSA30, tatlong dekadang pagbabalik-tanaw sa People Power; DU30, mahusay na pinuno para sa pagbabago.
Throwback: ‘ED SA 1992’ was a political cry for the presidential bid of Fidel, whose nickname is Eddie. Sabagay, effective naman. He succeeded People Power’s Cory. But before that, Ed’s propagandists trashed the suggested ‘Fidel in 1992’. Oo nga naman, some smart aleck might disarrange the words.
Forward to 30. Since it is the Lenten Season, the candidates may perhaps reflect on the sad biblical story of the 30 pieces of silver, and a gruesome end that happened next.
Throwback: Weeks ago, a friend admonished me: Brod, hindi ka naman naging pari, ah. Stop being too biblical when you talk or write. I asked why. He answered: Baka ma-Pacquiao ka. Makes sense? I think so too.
Speaking of tight ends, the tale of Judas has no link whatsoever to why those writing for newspapers of yore type 30 after an article. They only want to show editors that the story is ended; and to be reminded that no matter how meager the wages are, they are very glad to get it a workday less on the 30th of the month.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday! What if DU30 apocalyptically means ‘Di Umubra! Sadyang wakas’?
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Another case in point:
Colleague Edwin M.’s Throwback: While I was in the Philippines, I always vote early in the morning, before my brains figure out what I was doing and realize that nothing will come out of it.
Edwin certainly has a healthy cranial ritual for the polls; unlike others who vote and are still figuring out if they had brains. You think so too?
Between me and Edwin, a conversation on Philippine elections is like talking about a typical April Fool’s Day for a brain-fed zombie.
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The third case in point:
Throwback: In an excerpt from the Broadway musical The Fiddler On The Roof, the Rabbi was asked if there was a proper blessing for the Tsar. The Rabbi replied: A blessing for the Tsar? Of course! May God bless and keep the Tsar … far away from us!
Now, ask the Filipino people if there is a proper blessing for their politicians – in the past, in the present, and in the future. Most likely, many skeptical eyebrows will rise and a lot of unbelieving jaws will drop. Then, expect people to shrug pathetically, abruptly turn their backs on and excitedly head for the malls.
Yet, for any and all purposes it may serve, they will still amass at the polling places come May 9. Alam no na, baka sakali.
Maybe, just maybe on that day, many Filipino voters will look up, close their eyes, and fervently recite the Rabbi’s proper blessing: May God bless and keep decent and honest leaders. The bad ones? Send them to hell where we do not intend to go and where they will be far away from us. You think so too?
*****
It has been said: A term of six years is too short for a good leader, and too long for a bad one.
Whichever will apply to the next Philippine president and vice president remains to be seen. Definitely, it will be a shrewd strong statement of que sera, sera (what will be, will be).
While I have never heard of a national collective hurrah for a really remarkable leader in the past five administrations after the 1986 Philippine Constitution mandated fixed terms for the nation’s top officials, I have seen the quite humiliating fall from glory and power of at least two presidents.
After the May 9 polls, both elected president and vice president will just have to be very wary of interest groups, with its diverse and seemingly adverse political mindsets, that have never tired of brewing palliative remedies to either prolong or reverse the timeline of state leadership. butchgalicia@yahoo.com