I am writing this as I am getting ready to leave tomorrow.
Unlike a normal trip, this one is done with trepidation. This will not be a vacation in the sun, not accompanied by frolic that characterizes a winter getaway or spring break.
I’m bothered that this trip is not planned at all. I am not even sure what awaits me at my destination. I am facing a death of a loved one.
One night, three weeks ago, I received a long distance call breaking the news that one of my sisters had been diagnosed with cancer and that she has ten months to live. Part of the medical regimen was for her to undergo chemotherapy after either sawing off a leg or removing a part of her lung where cancer has gone up and began to wreck havoc there. She did not want any of those procedures done to her and prefers to just wait for death to take her.
We all agreed with her decision; even her doctor son who practices in Boston respected his mom’s will. She is facing things as fact of life graciously and with sense of humor telling her five boys that it’s okay for her to die ahead because she is older — the irony is my mother is 94 and well living life in Vancouver.
A week later I received another call this time with the update on my sister that ten months has become six and she deteriorates daily.
This part of life is simply a small fraction in the grand scheme of things. There are problems much more complex, vaster in scope and deeply painful that happens to other people. My apologies if my family’s tribulation and mine is not relevant to you at all. However, as death is sure as it is to come to all of us without exception I couldn’t help but share.
Death is the great equalizer. When it comes all other things become inconsequential. But that’s another story.
It would be more chaotic than usual when I reach the Philippines. For one, the election fever is on and anyone who had experienced the campaign season in the country could attest the circus-like atmosphere in the land. It will be a great diversion from misery and I will try to enjoy it and so will the citizens who may earn extra dough from politicians. I will try to enjoy and savour the experience.
The other chaos will be from the lack of order that we who have been away too long have become unaccustomed to. Things as mundane as crossing the streets of Manila or driving on roads where the lanes are not marked with dividers could be a challenge. The heat that’s starting to simmer would be another.
One bonus, if one can call it that, of this trip is that I will be able to try for myself Philippine Airline’s fourteen-hour straight flight from Manila to Toronto. This will be a novel trip experience and I am looking forward to it with anticipation, expecting the best service.
As I am writing this, two other things are in mind: the standoff in Sabah that erupted in violence and the soon to begin Papal Conclave. Both are issues that resonate for me personally. I had set foot on Kudat, Labuan, and Kota Kinabalu in Sabah — these places, four hours away from Cagayan de Tawi-Tawi, are places to behold. The Philippines has a stronger claim to Sabah than the Panatag Shoal in the West Philippine Sea.
The Conclave begins tomorrow and who the next Pope will be is important not only because I am a Catholic but I believe that whoever the next leader of the Roman Catholic Church would have impact to its future as it plays out its role in the world. The leader that emerges faces a tumultuous Church wracked with scandals which the institution continues to wrap in secrecy.
All my bags are packed now. I’m ready for a trip but not quite ready for what awaits ahead.
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