I was in a gathering of close friends a few weeks ago. It was a relaxed quiet affair, comfortable and secure in the company of people I have known for years. We had a sumptuous dinner, full of laughter and banter.
After the dinner, we retired in the spacious living room and chatted about our lives here in Canada. Most of the women in the group were nurses married to men from Germany and Canada. Almost all of us were born outside of this country and came at an age when we were economically productive, educated in our lands of origin and were gainfully employed before immigrating to Canada. We did not seem to have suffered very much in settlement because we all have had skills in certain lines of work and we all speak English, although we have our own first languages.
But we felt we still suffered from some forms of discrimination. Our levels of education in our countries of origin were not recognized at the same degrees which we had received. Most of us took jobs at the beginning that were below the one we had in our countries of origin.
We were relating those experiences, thankful that most of us overcame the barriers through hard work. We are all retired now.
It was my turn to narrate my own experiences at this time, when all of a sudden —— I lost my line of thought. It was a quick loss of what I wanted to say. There was an uncomfortable silence when everyone in the group waited with bated breath. I found my voice but not my line of thought. I had to apologize and tell them the truth. I could not remember what the continuation of my narration was. Someone from the group was quick to save me from my embarrassing moment. He said that he had experienced such situations many times before and not to worry. The line of thought will come again. He resumed that chat on another topic. After a few minutes I recalled what I was talking about but lost the enthusiasm to continue my narration.
I am now at an age when people would not be surprised if I forget many things, but I am proud that I can function normally and those things that I forget are minimal in importance. I have forgotten many of the names of my countless friends and acquaintances. I am ashamed that most of them have not forgotten mine. In many instances, I would meet people whose faces are very familiar but I cannot recall the names. I tell them truthfully that I cannot recall their names and they would happily provide them. I have devised some techniques in remembering names including celebrities that I was formerly very familiar with. I associate them with names of saints and of other things I would not forget. I do recall people I know who are named Patrick because of St. Patrick. When I do shopping I always bring a list of the things I really need to get. In the past I did not need to do that. I can remember all of them in my head.
Now when I go down to the first floor of my home in the morning I already bring everything that I need for the day. Going up and down the steps is a difficult task for me. Sometimes I forget to bring something that I need while downstairs. So I go up for it. Has it ever happened to you that when you get upstairs, you can’t remember what you went up for? Very frustrating!
Keeping appointments especially medical ones, is a very important responsibility. When you miss one, you often can not get another soon. I keep a calendar for all my appointments.
To be sure that I do not forget any chore that I have to do during the day, I usually sit down in the morning and write them in my datebook. But do you know I often misplaced my datebook?
I am extremely fortunate to have the level of memory that I have at my age. Some people especially those who abuse alcohol, lose their memory early in their lives. Others contract certain kind of diseases like Alzheimers. There are other forms of dementia that also cause loss of memory.
I recall that I often forget recent events more than the distant ones. I also remember the sad experiences more than the happy ones. Certain things that I see or meeting people I have not seen for a long time, trigger memories. I had a classmate in Grade Two whom I can not forget because he played a trick on me when we were children. He pulled my desk when I stood up to answer a teacher’s question and Ifell on the floor when I sat down. This classmate of mine reached heights in his career and I did not see him for a long time. In his sixties, I received news that he passed away. I was deeply saddened and I realized that I did not remember him with unpleasantness. That was just a childhood prank.
Forgetfulness advances with age. Researches have been made and are still going on to find ways of slowing it down if not stopping it. Certain diets are being recommended to sharpen memory. Keeping the mind active with problem-solving activities like puzzles and reading mysteries that involve complicated detective work can help give our brains some exercise. Avoiding extreme emotional stress also helps. Let us try to keep all our marbles. We need them for a happy active living.