“How would you live your life differently if you could start over, what would you do, who would you be, where would you go, what would you embrace?” – Susan Wiggs, The Lost and Found Bookshop (2020)
We need rituals for without them we are lost. One of these rituals is our list of resolutions for the New Year. Topping the list is the resolution to have a more active and healthy life which means to exercise more and eat sensibly and moderately. But after a month or so, the enthusiasm ebbs down in intensity. We, Filipinos, have an apt description of this trait. We call it the ningas-kugon mentality where the cogon grass burns brightly at the beginning but dies fast instantly.
Since having retired from a paid job, I have more free time for reflections. I am no lifestyle expert. So what I am about to say, you just have to take it with a grain of salt.
There’s the famous saying that tells us that life is not a destination but a journey. In this journey, I categorize life in general into three stages: (1) the growing-up stage; (2) the making-a-mark stage; and (3) the reducing-to-zero stage.
By framing life into these three categories, we can now make our list of New Year’s resolutions based on what stage we are in. It makes the items on our list more manageable and achievable. The given here, though, in all stages, is to take care of our mind and body through exercise.
The Growing-Up Stage
This is the stage where we start from being dependent to independent. Here, everything is new and unfamiliar. So we spend most of our time in learning things and adapting. We learn how to walk, talk, eat, take care of personal hygiene, play, etc. Curiosity is at its peak. We let our senses be the instruments of knowledge. We move from instinct to social adaptation. We learn to be a human being. But the majority of our time and effort in this stage is expended in education, because, I think, it affords us the best chance to have more in life, to have better opportunities and to be able to withstand life’s challenges. So the five items in the list of New Year’s resolutions in this stage will focus on being a “good” student:
- Set a time of three hours (in the afternoon or evening) during weekdays to do your school work assignments. Prioritize them accordingly based on the schedule of your subjects or the complexity of the assignments. The harder ones require a high degree of comprehension so it makes sense for you to devote more time tackling them.
- Join a study group. Relying on your peers will ease your workload and provide an access on their perspectives of difficult subjects. Having others to bounce back ideas allows your brain to have a better understanding of the subject matter.
- Do not be afraid to seek a mentor, be it a teacher, older student or sibling. Their experience is a useful resource to have.
- Have a library card and take advantage of the books available free of charge to help you in your research or expand your perspectives.
- Set a week or two to prepare for your final exams. Avoid interruptions such as TV, on-line chats, social media, and others. Be really focused. Aim not only to pass but to score high in order to get high grades. The final marks matter a lot.
The Making-A-Mark Stage
In this stage, there are so many choices, challenges and opportunities you will encounter, so decision-making ability is crucial. Every decision has bad or good consequences. But our focus here is our career-building activities. In order to have the “good life”, we need to have steady and well-paying jobs. Let’s face it. Money matters. It is the only way to secure our future and those of our children and grandchildren. The question now is how to keep your job for years. One sure way is to suck up to your boss. Please your boss in more ways possible and you are protected when economic downturns occur. Still, here are five ways you need to consider:
- Spend as much time building your network, especially those in the know. Attend meetings, go to conferences, participate in team-building exercises, but most important, mingle around with your colleagues and higher-ups, converse and listen.
- Take advantage of courses paid for by the company that will improve your skills, especially communication and leadership courses. If none is offered, spend your own money as an investment on yourself. Attend evening classes if you must.
- Increase your profile at work by productivity and performance. Volunteer to be a participant in any projects, work-related or social. Let your voice be heard in meetings. Don’t be afraid to flaunt your achievements. If you can stomach it, be a bully, for management always notices aggressive employees who get things done. Show confidence always although you are feeling weak inside.
- Be ready to work unpaid overtime when necessary. Staying late in the office shows dedication (and bosses like to check around after five in the afternoon).
- Work with a company that offers good benefits, especially the one that has a pension plan, either defined-benefit or defined-contribution. The money will be very useful in financing your retirement years.
The Reducing-To-Zero Stage
This is the retirement phase of our life, whether voluntary or not. We have been kicked out of the working force. But this is the stage where we get most of life leisurely. We don’t need to wake up early or spend so much time commuting from home to work and back. We can travel, read a lot, watch TV the whole day, take hobbies, tend the garden, learn to be a handyman, volunteer, and many others we never have time to do while working. The challenge here is how to manage the time vacated by having a job. Now you have to adjust to a more relaxed environment. Here are five suggestions:
- Establish a routine every day. It will make the time go by easily. Schedule your activities accordingly. That way you do not have to be scrambling what to do next. Having a structure gives you a framework to execute which in turn aims to motivate or allow a sense of purpose. This positive outlook makes your day promising at all times.
- Do not stop learning. The community centres offer a lot of courses such as ballroom dancing or learning musical instruments, home economics, other languages, and others. The library, too, offers courses for free such as setting up or designing a website. Join a book club or programs being offered for senior citizens.
- Explore the world if you have the money, for it will enhance your perspectives of other cultures. If not the world, then just within Canada. The country is big enough for sight-seeing activities. There are a lot of wonders here to discover.
- Start downsizing, either the house or its content. Less is more. There’s so much accumulation done over the years, it’s time to get rid of the excesses. You have enough clothes, shoes, household items, and books, for example, for your remaining years. Perhaps more than enough to give them away.
- Prepare for your expected end-of-life. Have a will so your children won’t be fighting as to who is entitled to what. Tell your children how your body will be taken care of: burial or cremation and set aside money to cover for funeral expenses.
The Final Word
No matter where we are in these three stages, one element that will help us in search of peace and harmony is the virtue of acceptance. We can’t live our life always comparing ourselves to others, for we will always come up short. To be true to ourselves we have to accept who we are with limitations and imperfections. Woe to those who will tell you “nothing is impossible” or “be perfect”. They are just setting you up for failures, for disappointments, for despair. Of course, I am not saying you have to be passive or fatalistic in your outlook. In fact, I am advocating for you to be active, to make an effort, to test your limits, to try as best as you can. And making a list of resolutions year after year is a sign that you care for your being. There is an annual plan; all you need to do is execute. You may not achieve everything you set out to do, but that’s okay. Rome wasn’t built in one day.
The other thing that is important to be emphasized is you only get the things you want depending on the amount of effort you put on to them. More effort will result to better outcome; the greater the risk, the greater the reward. Laziness is not an option. You must work hard to achieve the many things you desire in life. You only have one shot; aim it properly. And make the most of it.
21 December 2021
