In Part 1 of this article, I discussed the first three strategies in preventing unnecessary, draining, stressful, and time-consuming confrontation. As mentioned, unfriendly encounter can happen at a time and place when we least expect it. It’s vital to know and carry out some basic strategies: First, expect it to happen; second, choose your strategy; and third, be proactive.
Here in Part 2, I have included three more steps (fourth to sixth) to apply when the situation calls for our immediate action. As hard as it may sound, preventing confrontation is much better than allowing it to happen and letting it intrude in our peaceful existence.
4. Prepare how to respond
Some situations can easily erupt in intense, fiery arguments. Anticipate how to respond even before they happen. Prepare even for scenarios that may not exist. But if ever they occur, you know you’re ready to roll. And you’ll thank yourself for being ready.
Prepare a script or scripts for possible eventualities. For instance, if the person puts you down (You’re not helpful at all! I’m sick of you!), you’ll say this prepared statement (I disagree but let’s discuss this issue at 4 PM). If the person slams the door, then you’ll say this (I believe that this behavior is inappropriate and unnecessary).
For each identifiable trigger, plan how to react. Don’t leave anything to chance.
5. Assert yourself
Know your rights and be sure to assert them. Say “Yes” or “No” without feeling guilty. Provide facts without hesitation. State clearly what you think is right. Any cautious, tentative style will only prove uncertainty and weakness.
When appropriate, express how you feel without being rude. Having said this, how you say and what you say can still be felt as rude or negative. Such reaction is beyond you. Just be true to yourself and the outcome will take care of itself.
6. Refer the problem to higher authorities
If your plans to prevent hostility fail or if attempts to defuse altercations become useless, then you have another option. Refer the issue to higher authorities. If the predicament occurs at work, then refer it to your boss. And let management staff mediate or resolve the brewing state of affairs.
If you’re in the community and your former partner (or future ex-partner) threatens to get you, and harasses you no end, then report that person to legal authorities. He or she has no right to give you sleepless nights and fearful way of life.
Moreover when legal issues are at stake, immediately hire a lawyer. It’s better to be at the right side of the law. Ask trusted friends and relatives to closely monitor the circumstance or to directly watch you. You will never know what desperate people can do.
I hope that these six strategies can help you cope with some unexpected clashes with potentially tricky outcomes. Through all these, take control of the situation and don’t let the situation take control of you. Only you should dictate the life you wish to live.
