Quoting a social media meme: My therapist told me to “write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.” Did that, but now I don’t know what to do with the letters.
*****
Mang Kulas says: Bad ang mag-ambisyong tirisin si Boy Surot (Sir Philip M’s cartoon creation).
Nais mong gumanti sa mga taong toxic? Isulong at itulak mo sila sa politics.
*****
Excited siya nang malaman na may general elections sa Pilipinas on May 9, 2022.
Udyok ng pagiging aktibista during his college days in Manila nuong dekada sitenta, naghahanda na si Mang Kulas sa kanyang homecoming flight nitong Spring, in time for the halalan.
Buo ang loob at hindi takot makibaka, naniniwala siya na the right to suffrage ay sagrado.
Further, he believes na ang hindi bumoto ay walang karapatang magprotesta’t magreklamo.
Ang siste, hindi siya dual citizen.
*****
Unlike the air we breathe and believe in although we don’t see it, we’ve got to see what’s with the Philippines’ Commission on Elections (Comelec) before we exclaim “Unbelievable!”
Official reports say that 97 persons are seeking to replace President Rodrigo Duterte when he ends his six-year term in mid-2022. It is what it is.
At least seven of them – Maria Leonor “Leni” Robredo, Francisco “Isko Moreno” Domagoso, Norberto Gonzales, Panfilo “Ping” Lacson, Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr., Emmanuel “Manny” Pacquiao and Ronald “Bato” dela Rosa (lady first and then the gentlemen’s surnames in alphabetical order, para malinaw na wala daw kinikilingan) — are said to have the political machinery and wherewithal to launch and sustain a nationwide campaign. O, ‘di ba, super spreader?
The Comelec adds 29 candidates for vice president; 176 for senators; 733 for district representatives and 270 are nominees for sectoral representation. Wow!
Local contenders include 281 for governor, 226 for vice governor and 1,951 for provincial board member; 4,486 for mayor, 3,968 for vice mayor, and 35,636 for councilor. Amazing!
Fast Check #1: The numbers do not, in any way, represent Covid-19 cases or the unvaccinated.
Fast Check # 2: A mass escape from a cuckoo’s nest is nothing more than just a juicy rumor.
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Sabi ni Mang Kulas: Para sa karamihan ng mga kumandidato, ang manalo ay isang dream come true.
Kung bansa’y mamalasin na naman, baka muling magising sa bangungot ang mga Pilipino.
*****
Hay, buhay, parang eleksiyon. Be the conscientious individual. Choose the best option. Cast the right vote.
Tapos, titiisin mo ang pahirap ng majority decision. Unfair ba?
*****
Data from the Comelec do not bother Mang Kulas.
Without fear or favor, he proclaims: “Kahit sino pa ang maging presidente, si misis pa rin ang masusunod.”
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Comelec will release the final list of candidates on January 2022, after the poll body has screened and separated the serious poll bets from the nuisance.
Mang Kulas says: Sa hinabahaba man din daw ng prusisyon, e di hintayin natin.
*****
Just the thought that some candidates regard the polls as a trivial pastime, or a game of either bato-bato-ping or bato-bato-pink, makes Mang Kulas freak out.
He ponders: Have Filipino voters learned enough from history? Have they become wiser and better prepared to establish a better political reality for themselves? Kung hindi madaan sa ballot, penoy ba ang alternative?
With crossed fingers, hindi nila papayagan at hahayaan si Mang Darambong and the Bandits to plunder the nation’s health and wealth again, anew, once more, repeatedly, for the nth time.
Crossed eyes naman. Ibabasura ng mga botante ang anumang political witchery and delusion into the deep dark abyss of insignificance, irrelevance and oblivion.
Fast Check # 3: Rumors purporting that Mang Kukulam gets better paid than shrinks are being verified.
*****
Walang hokus-pokus! Nangako si Comelec chairman Sherrif Abbas that the Philippine poll body will stand by its rules on substitution and will not change the rules in the middle of the game.
Comelec Resolution 10717 is firm: An aspirant from a duly registered political party or coalition, who dies, withdraws, or is disqualified for any cause after the last day for the filing of certificates of candidacy (CoC), may be substituted by an aspirant belonging to, and nominated by, the same political party or coalition.
Political groups have until November 15, 2021 to replace its candidate who withdraws.
Sabi ni Mang Kulas: Let us wait and see. Paalala lang, hindi laro ang pagboto. Huwag itulad ang halalan sa ‘tanching’, na kay daling magpalit ng pato.
Fast Check # 4: Merlin, the Fairy Godmother and Harry Potter are disallowed from substituting. That would be interference. Politicians want; they wand.
*****
Samantala, iminungkahi ni Comelec spokesperson James Jimenez sa Kongreso ang pagsasabatas ng mas makabuluhang limitations on the exercise of the statutory privilege of substitution, imbis na i-bash ang Comelec rule as subject to abuse and misuse.
Recently, Deputy Speaker and Cagayan de Oro 2nd District Congressman Rufus Rodriguez filed House Bills 10380 and 10381 that would prohibit the substitution of candidates and would declare incumbent officials resigned upon filing their CoCs, respectively.
Mang Kulas sighs: Nuong araw, what lawmakers did and said were met with bated breath and anticipation.
Sa ngayon, anything coming from kongreso’t senado is greeted with bad breath and constipation.
Fast Check # 5: Las Vegas magicians never set foot at the Batasang Pambansa and Bagong Senado.
*****
My love and respect goes to beloved friend Ramon Chua Jr.; likewise loved and respected in his hometown of Cotabato City, the Philippines and in places in the world where he had been, personally and professionally.
He posted an opinion on the spread of false and confusing data and information in the Internet; and the cattiness resulting from it.
Ramon’s take: “As much as possible I try to stay out of politics, but my wall is again witnessing how our country is being divided into political preferences. I hope this will not get as toxic as the last national election.
Yes, I have my own preference but I’m not forcing it on anyone. I will try to do my duty as a (Filipino) citizen and join the call for unity and respect.
Unity? We can unite if we agree that our discourse is based on truth or facts. Fake news is everywhere, so is truth. Trolls are everywhere, so are legitimate influencers. The battle is online and everything is just a click away. Let us take time to verify our sources of data.
No one is right except the truth. And truth can be based on scientific facts, historical events, research studies, jurisprudence, laws and court rulings. These sources should complement each other, not taken singly.
We cannot unite based on lies or false information, never. We unite to fight the spread of lies.
Respect? Personal opinion should be well-discerned to form an enlightened thinking and action.
Please don’t say “respect” my opinion if it is based on false information, erroneous claims, fake news, fabricated and malicious statements.
Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and all forms of social media are unreliable sources, platforms used by trolls to attack the Filipino’s gullibility. Containing both truths and lies, they have become instruments to confuse people.
(Singit lang po. When FB etal went down recently, the trolls panicked and wept in dark caves. It must have been a good day for earthlings who wished off-line should have lasted forever.)
BTW, never react to trolls who are paid based on the number of reactions they get from you. If you see your candidates being bashed in a post, do not react; lest you become a fish caught in a hook. Anyways, your preferred candidate does not pay you to do so.
The call for unity and respect is not simply tolerating each other. Educate each other; never quarrel over differences of opinion. Take time to understand each other. Disallow politics to ruin family and friendship.
Lastly, refrain from having the FAN mentality. Candidates are neither gods nor idols. They are people who apply to be your public servant and they should owe you, not the other way around.
Again, take time to reflect on the impact a candidate’s victory will have on your future and that of your family, community and country. (End)
*****
Fast Check # 6: Surveys show that it’s fun and amusing to engage a poll troll, any troll. Asar talo!
Come to think of it, Ramon, your discourse fits the landscape of our local elections.
Unpleasant and nauseating situations were seen during the recent federal polls.
At the aggressive rate and manner political parties attack each other’s leaders in costly television ads and (free?) social media trolling, Ontario voters are getting susceptible to the idea that parliament is transitioning to Monsters University. Dreams of an acceptable castle to play, work and live in just may not come true.
Will exciting Halloween fun — ugly masks, mythical nocturnal creatures and darkness — be in the offing in the province in the next eight months hence and beyond?
Perhaps not, if a joke book comes in handy.
*****
In 1994, the book Eraption: How to Speak English Without Really Trial took the Philippines by storm. (Move over, Yolanda. Ssshhh, Ondoy. On second thought, La Palma’s hot flowing lava is a nightmare. Stand down, Pinatubo. Zip it, Taal.)
Written by Emil Jurado and Reli German, the anthology of jokes was all about cinema actor Joseph “Erap” Estrada, who served as Philippine President from 1998 to 2001 and Mayor of Manila from 2013 to 2019.
The compilation of anecdotes and narratives, buoyed by caricatures and cartoons by famous illustrators like Larry Alcala, zeroed in on Erap’s supposed difficulty to speak, comprehend and interpret English.
The book is said to have become a collectible document of classic Filipino humor and Pinoy pop culture.
Mang Kulas says: Suntok sa buwan if you can still find the book. Pero kung mayroon pa sa National BS, pakyawin mo na.
*****
Whoa! Erap is Pare spelled backwards. That is not frightening, is it?
So on to an Erap-tion: When Erap noticed a pregnant woman break water, pinapunta niya sa Jollibee. “May free delivery duon.”
Another walang kamatayang Erap fable: Asked for an opinion about capital punishment specifically on death by musketry, Erap replied “Sa sobrang grabe at sama ng krimen, maski four o maski five, puwede.”
It’s an Erap foible: During a trip to a typhoon-hit area, Erap talked about the devastation, saying “Devastation? Go there. Ride safely.”
Kupas na, kwela pa. (1) Ayaw uminon at titig na titig si Erap sa juice, kasi the label said Orange Concentrate.
(2) After the doc noted na dapat tanggalin ang butlig, napahiyaw si Erap, “Ayokong mag-wheelchair!”
(3) When son Jinggoy inquired kung bakit nagmamadali siyang umalis sa lamayan, Erap pointed to a sign that said “Remains will be cremated.”
*****
Very superstitious, I’d rather not see a headless image staring back at me from a mirror in a dark room at midnight of Halloween, All Saints Day or All Souls Day, whenever.
I don’t want to keep my eyes closed, longer than necessary, either.
Frankly, it is embarrassing and humiliating to admit the absence of anything in the head.
Mang Kulas, smiling behind a pandemic mask, says: Pare, ayos lang ‘yan. Qualified ka na sa Battle of the Brainless, iiwasan ka pa ng mga zombie.
*****
Being brain dead is not exactly petrifying, as it solidly confirms that one indeed had a brain.
Paalala ni Mang Kulas: Be that as it may, a passive urn shall never match an active skull.
*****
Mang Kulas and Ka Pedring share an uncommon intent to unravel a mystery.
Weird and creepy it may seem, they have been asking the departed to visit and tell them stuff about the afterlife. Of course, nobody replied and no one got back to them.
Ka Pedring recently went Home to the Better Place. Mang Kulas bade him farewell, until they would meet again. Ka Pedring had been a no-show since.
Will Mang Kulas agree to a talk up above? No way! His maxim is “Not today, my friend, not today.”
Lately, he did dismiss his wish to explore anything beyond the body and the mind.
Mang Kulas professes: God has mysterious plans and works in mysterious ways, all for our good.
*****
Readers won’t ignore another kabayan-halalan tall tale, would they?
Here goes: Nang malaman ni Aling Saling na nakaboto na ang kanyang asawa, she commented: “Sayang, hindi ko siya inabutan. I miss him. Three years na siyang patay.”
*****
Immediately after his Manila sojourn, Mang Kulas needs to be home in time for the 43rd Ontario general election or before June 2, 2022.
Mang Kulas and Ka Pedring last voted in the same riding.
*****
Ayayay! Akala ko’y maayos na ang segue from the seeming apocalyptic horror of elections to the less shocking and terrifying realm of the metaphysical and “last respects.” Paltos. Hindi pala.
Sabi ni Mang Kulas: Iwasan ang mag-akala, lalo na kung ang paligid ay nangangamoy kandila. Takbo na!
*****
Moving forward, let us retrace our steps at samahan sina Kabayan at Kapatid for the customary visit to the dead at a graveyard or a memorial park on November 1 and 2, All Saints Day and All Souls Day, respectively.
In the good old pre-pandemic past, Filipinos looked forward to that yearly trip to the cemetery. It was an occasion when family members felt wanted, dead or alive.
Visiting God’s acres is a testimony of respect for souls who have moved on to the Great Beyond.
It is a time to gather at the grave of the deceased, light up its surroundings with candles, share care and love with flowers and invoke God’s presence with heartwarming prayers.
Like Christmas, a birthday, a graduation, marriage and a funeral, the first two November Philippine holidays are also timely reasons for a clan reunion. Bonding and catching up will while away the time.
Uuwing masaya ang lahat, unmindful that they just left a place they would be heading to in time.
*****
Ooops, kalimuts! Pedestrian and vehicular movement is limited or restricted in many burial sites in the Philippines, in line with public and private pandemic-related health and safety protocols.
Isip-isip si Mang Kulas: “Entrance Only” sa gate ng kamposanto? Iwas overcrowding? #SanaAllDays?
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Commemorating All Saints Day and All Souls Day (hindi holidays sa Canada), will be moments for those far from the homeland to remember and relive memories of good times with loved ones na nauna na.
Tight hugs, loving kisses and good-humored laughter will be missed. But a picture, the huddle, candles, and flowers will certainly adorn the altar and will bring family, friends and community together.
Respect for the dead will usher in and highlight November’s beginning.
At sa bawat bukas, patuloy tayong mananalangin na harinawa’y malugod at masaya ang pamamahinga ng mga mahal nating kaluluwa in the heavenly kingdom of God.
*****
More than ever, the time is ripe to reflect on the mortality of humankind, that everything is temporary in this world, that death is inevitable and that every passage is a celebration.
Keep the flame dancing, but kindle it with care.
No adieus, only memories to keep and live by.
*****
Mang Kulas, the poet, shares “Butterfly.”
Calmly and quietly you glided by
Then you held a bead of the rosary
A cool redolent breeze guided my whiff to you
In my heart, you whispered “Take care, we love you.”
That moment, I knew I was with good company
So close to my soul, beside and around me.
Thank you, butterfly.
*****
Evidently, there are too many differences between an election, Halloween and the days of and for the dead.
All, however, agree on life-lifting enjoyment – the enjoyment of freedom and democratic rights, on one hand; the enjoyment of trickin’ and treatin’, on the other hand; and the enjoyment of every amazing meeting and reunion between and among living and departed souls.
Mang Kulas suggests: The third hand may help, but the need for an exorcist is not that imminent.
*****
To top it all, may magandang tomorrow dahil patuloy ang ikot ng mundo.
Remember the Golden Rule and Murphy’s Law.
Have a happy, healthy and safe day. #####
(Accompanying picture for this Throwback)
Visiting God’s acres is a testimony of respect for souls who have moved on to the Great Beyond. This photograph was taken on Mother’s Day 2021, as we honored the matriarch, Mommy Isabel. We all look forward to be at her side again on her birth anniversary on November 14. We shall extend the same respect to Daddy Chitong, brother Gie and sister Pinky and other family members, including Teodora David, who are in God’s acres in the Philippines. Melancholic as the atmosphere of November 1 and 2 may be, let us lift up spirits and greet each other a Happy All Saints Day and a Happy All Souls Day. The dearly departed never left our hearts and minds. They will still live in us, more each day than yesterday. We should walk up memory lane more often. (Butch Galicia)
