All Souls Day is here and for people who lost their loved ones, it will surely be a day for remembering. For me, my late husband Ruben Cusipag, had been gone for over eight years, but his memories remain as fresh, as if it happened just yesterday.
The Founder of Balita Newspaper, a journalist by heart, a social activist in advocacy, a Marcos political prisoner during Martial Law incarcerated at Camp Crame, he had touched many lives. As I pause in prayer for his soul, I know there are lots of people out there who will also remember him dearly.
After a week in ICU following his accident in 1996, and Ruben was still comatose, the prognosis was bleak. The doctors practically gave up on him. But with incredible community support and widespread prayers, he miraculously awakened.
Sunnybrook Hospital became my second home for three months, caring for him. Then it was Rehab Hospital downtown for a year.
I gave my all to face a new life. His ultimate recovery and eventual reintegration back into the community became my foremost goals.
The challenges and demands were mind-boggling, so I had to stop working and stepped in as his full-time caregiver.
We were together 24 hours a day after that. As his healing progressed, it was as if each day was going to be the last for us. We tried everything there was available to get him well.
I took him to all the known healing places in the world, praying for a miracle. I know in my heart it was from our pilgrimages that prolonged his life. For us, those times were our most cherished moments together.
It was three days before he turned 75, on July 9, 2013 when he passed on, and left me wondering if I had done enough, or if I should have done more. The realization did not come easy, and it kept me crying in my sleep. I still do, somehow cry in my sleep. I think that if he were alive still, I am certain things would be different today. But he is gone, leaving turmoil in my personal life.
That I feel his presence and spiritual guidance every time I am lost or in despair is reassuring. As if we had prepared for this situation in those last years when I took control, and no decision was final until he either concurred or disapproved.
Fortunately, too, we had surrounded ourselves with a company of caring and trusted friends who continue to give me moral courage, and are my refuge in tough times. Then at home, I have my loving family, my grandchildren especially, to fall back on. And living alone is not so daunting after all.
Ruben’s continuing legacy remains to be his crusading spirit to be the voice of our community, to articulate the public interest of Filipinos, to expose and to stop and make them account for their misdeeds, those who take advantage and live off of the vulnerable members, through the pages of Balita Newspaper.
His life story is a chronicle of the fights he waged on behalf of others, those with less in life who were being victimized. He absolutely wanted Balita to carry on with his championing of the underdog, at all costs if need be. I can affirm that we have done our best, and made him proud of his paper, according to our reading public.
Having survived the acid test for his political beliefs, after being locked up in Camp Crame by former President Marcos for his critical writings of the Dictatorship, it hardened him.
He was unforgiving, especially when it involved people in power, most specially those in government abusing their power.
I remember people congratulating and encouraging him saying, “Go, Ruben, expose the son of a bitch”. Today, there are still people in our community that lack conscience and they would even steal other group’s resources just to stay as leaders and under the limelight.
We have brought out these characters into the public eye, as Ruben had mandated, they are fighting back as expected, at times fighting but hiding their identities.
Justice cannot let us down because we speak the truth behind all our claims. That our people know who you really are is accomplishment enough for us.
Like what a senior say in Tagalog, sagad sa buto ang pagka walanghiya”, Bahala na ang Diyos, kasumpa sumpa” said another. .
No one can really enjoy blessings till there are issues that need clearance. You start wrong so you will carry them forever. Never mind that there are pseudo journalists and papers out there who won’t hesitate to make you look good for a few peanuts.
These cheap hacks are what fellow journalist and past President of PPCO the late Tenny Soriano referred to when he said, “pa bente bente lang, okay na”.
There are those picture-hungry characters who push themselves for photo-ops at every opportunity, as though this was like winning the lottery.
And some publishers who knew the truth and what happened before but because of their envy, that in their greediness they wish Balita to go down.
Because of their malicious intentions their lives never really took off either financially or with sickness. It is unforgivable when your goodness and generosity are paid back with betrayals.
I also remember the late Carlos Padilla, a principled civic leader and a good friend of ours, who stepped up as a whistle-blower when he could no longer stomach dishonesty.
He told us that in an event, when he brought up the issue of financial statements to a fund-raiser, he was thrown a dollar as a response. That made him pursue it more and tell the community about the truth and what transpired, and until the day he died he tried his best to make the man and his cohorts accountable.
His efforts to make a difference for the community is commendable. He and I discussed cases and a lot of issues that were shocking for me that we will pursue. How people can stomach deviousness for money. Monies that did not come from your sweat will bring an enormous bad luck to your life anyway. It has been proven so I wish them luck.
The wheel of life is always turning around, as the saying goes.
Where today there is joy, sometime later there could be loneliness. Win some, lose some, it all balances out and life has to go on.
A good life is lived when nobody is wishing for your karma because of your bad deeds. To be cursed and hated is the worse life there is because it lasts long after you are dead.
So what may God have in store for us, we’ll have to wait and see. One thing I am sure of those that wish to destroy Balita and me for telling the truth, whoever is helping them and whoever they worship, it is not my and everybody’s God. ****