I was in a small gathering not long ago. The conversation was about the Philippines “Hindi na raw masyado ang korapsiyon ngayon. Pati ang hukom ng kataastaasang hukuman, kasama sa mga may kaso ngayon.”
“Naku, mabuti naman.,” one of the persons in the group remarked. “Nakakahiya sa mga ibang lahi pag nadidinig kong pinag-uusapan ang Pilipinas.”
“Ikaw, anong palagay mo?” another member of the group asked the next to her who had not said anything.
“Ay naku, hindi ako nakikialam sa pulitika. Magulo iyan, Ayokong madamay pa.”
Several other people in the group expressed approval of the latter’s response. Politics can bring trouble to one’s life.”
Whenever we hear the word politics, we usually construe it as something referring to government. That is the usual meaning that we are used to.
In general, however, politics has a wider connotation. Anything that refers to ideas that involves social relationships is considered politics. Politics can refer to differing opinions on a given issue. It can also refer to the means an individual may employ to achieve his purpose.
It can exist in the relationships between two people as in domestic politics, or in a group or community often referred to as local politics.
It may develop between or among groups like religious or economic politics or among nations as international politics.
In the home, the husband and the wife may have different ways of looking at things because of dissimilar upbringing. Disagreements on just one issue usually lead to misunderstandings in other issues. Such disagreements lead to disintegration of trust in each other.
Harsh exchange of words hurt each other’s self-respect. One incident reinforces another that leads to estrangement and eventually the breaking up of the home.
It needs self-introspection and empathy on either or both to resolve the differences in behaviour of two people at odds, on an issue. To be able to understand why a partner is acting the way he or she does and to be able to put one ’s self in the shoes of the other are the paths that will lead to the resolution of the problems.
To be ready to accept whatever is the perceived flaw in the other partner is the first step to reconciliation. This is a difficult route to take because of “amor propio,” the instinct for self-pride or self-preservation.
This tendency to stick to one’s belief or opinion is usually strengthened by the awareness of having the power to assert, in terms of material possessions or the support of other people – members of the family and friends.
In any kind of politics, the tendency to recruit supporters is a common strategy to strengthen one’s stand.
In many cases, either partner may bribe the children to take his or her side.
Extended families often join in the polarization of support. Instead of becoming bridges that would bring back the couple together, family and friends may even contribute to the final break-up of the union. This is where objective counseling can come in to make both parties realize their strengths and weaknesses that can contribute to reconciliation.
The principles that work in domestic politics are the same as those in any other situation, be it small groups, communities, countries or nations. Differences in culture, traditions, gender, religion, education and other factors that bring people together to be identified as a group, all influence the formation of political enclaves.
Politics may be the belief or opinion, policy or practice, goal or end that an individual or group aims to achieve or maintain. The underlying wish is achievement or maintenance of power.
The struggles for that power have caused endless wars and formation of different opinions and beliefs. Where should the power rest – in an individual as in an autocracy or on all the people as in a democracy?
In the Philippines, the policies of colonialism which ruled the country for almost four centuries and its geography, seem to still influence among its people up to the present time.
“Divide and rule”. It took the Filipinos three hundred thirty three years of Spanish colonization and almost half a century of American rule, to fight and gain independence. But the traditions of those years still linger among us. We call it colonial mentality.
Our many regions separated by mountains and waters and our many languages and dialects all contribute to our varied ways of looking at things. We cannot seem to unite on issues. We have difficulty in supporting our leaders. But we are hard workers, a tradition developed in a country wherein you have to work hard in order to survive. It is a country wherein members of the family stick together because there is no one to depend on except one another.
We cannot avoid politics. It is ingrained in our socialization. It is a part of our upbringing, our experiences as well as our traditions. Our politics are our equipments for survival in this world.
We can, however, improve our politics. Let us engage in more introspection before acting in any given situation. Let us not be carried away by persuasion. “Huwag kang padadala sa agos.” Be willing to forgive people’s weaknesses. Let us not be afraid to assert our opinions when necessary, but let us do it in the most respectful and persuasive way.
We can disagree without being disagreeable.****
