Most people would much rather stay home to everything familiar to them. This is understandable. To be surrounded by family and friends, home is where one is comfortable, wanted, accepted, and loved. Many who do not have the need to transplant themselves elsewhere are fortunate. They continue to enjoy the benefits of being with kith and kin, the conveniences of having household help, even a driver, or an assistant (or a runner to handle things for them).
Seeking greener pastures has become quite commonplace, however, even for the well-heeled. Quality of life is desired by all humans, after all. The uptick in immigration came about mostly when economies became depressed and the job market started to dry up. People had to look elsewhere for employment opportunity, especially those that opened up to foreigners, creating the term “expatriates” to survive. On the lighter side, immigrating to another country have attracted many people seeking greener pastures as we move towards globalization.
It is a promise, after all, of a better life. Most notably, when people return home from the U.S.A., Canada, and Australia – developed economies that spell prosperity. A good life is an ideal life, a good well-paying job, far, far from the economic challenges of the homeland. Our eyes water at the luxury items the migrants bring home… the latest TVs, gadgets, modern devices, shoes, clothing, down to novel fruits and chocolates.
Naturally, we dream of migrating ourselves to experience the ‘good life’ that these people obviously are enjoying. They look better, the sound better, they definitely look like they made a good move migrating.
So, we begin to make plans and proceed to find a way how to migrate. Ergo, with some education, job experience, and spunk, we pass the rigid embassy requirements. Viola! We tell everybody proudly that we are leaving for the ‘promised land.’ Everybody is excited, some even envious that we somehow managed to find relief from the socio-economic stresses at home. For parents, having grown children working abroad is a dream come true. Receiving foreign currency regularly is definitely a crowning glory to the sacrifice of raising kids. Something parents are surely going to be proud about. And yes, in turn, these kids can help other siblings to finish a college degree.
No one mentions though that life is not a bed of roses; that it is not easy to transplant oneself from the homeland. Albeit even when visiting balikbayans lament about the tough times they have overseas, the locals think it is a joke. How can it not be a joke when they come laden with good stuff people could hardly afford? They also look healthier, their skin clearer and glowing! They are wearing nice clothes and expensive shoes, with an expensive handbag perched on the ladies’ arms! Why they even smell nice! The hardship is definitely just a joke!
But much like a grown plant, there are shocks, and while many survive, there are also many that could not sustain the shock of physically transplanting oneself to another culture. Stress is multiplied. Couples fight a lot because of these new stressors. And there is no one around to confide in! The difficulty often lies in our unrealistic expectations. There is difficulty and a painful adjustment, even if one were moving from a developing country to a developed country. These are the major obstacles that many, many people experience in their first year or two in a new country.
First, while Filipinos pride themselves in being well-versed in English (as the latter is the business language of the Philippines), albeit they are ill-prepared with the nuances of the English language used and spoken by a country whose primary language is English. Australians, the British, the Americans, and the Canadians have notable differences in how they speak English, their sentence formation, terminologies, and the usage of those words. Believe me, it is hardly similar to the Filipino English we are used to. We want to explain things in the most comfortable way, in the vernacular way, but we cannot seem to express it well enough in English, to be understood! So, the first shock is the language shock.
Second, Filipinos are so open and friendly, bordering on gullibility, thus can fall prey to unwanted attention and harm. Being immersed in a new, strange culture is often confusing. For instance, we get invited to a party and we are expected to bring something, a dish, preferably. Well, isn’t that funny? You get invited to a gathering and you have to bring food to it? That is never done in the Philippines ! What we know is that we most of the time, come home with food! We take home food from the party, without having to bring any to it! What about the expectation to help the host/hostess out, like get the table ready, or even wash dishes after the merriment. Ahh that is absolutely not done in the Philippines where the guest is always the honored party. They get served! They don’t come in nice clothes to wash the dishes or tidy up? So, we have the second shock, the culture shock.
Then there’s the work scene. We develop friendship very easily and count our officemates as friends so we quickly gravitate and confide our worries and insecurities to them, especially if they are our countrymen. But no, we will soon find out that the feeling is not mutual because to them, we are just coworkers, not friends. And often our secret is let out without compunction and we are shocked.
There’s the fiscal aspect. It is difficult to understand why our work experience and position back home are just given a mild interest. Local experience is what they are looking for, which we do not have yet! So, a new immigrant starts at the bottom. And even at a field we were not trained for. For instance, a dentist who does not have the means to go to a local university to be accepted for licensing to practice will have to seek any other job readily available. One has to pay rent and feed the family after all, and those cannot wait! So, one could become a clerk, a sales associate, or a warehouse stocker, or a security guard? Very quickly, reality strikes and one learn to be humble or burn and crash. It is the survival of the fittest in this new world. There is competition, often, a keen one amongst immigrants. And while we want the large screen TV, the designer bags, the brand-new shiny car that drives like a dream, our paycheck takes us down to reality. We have to start low and slow.
The first year is the most difficult phase of all, as a new immigrant. Everything is strange and not quite what we have been accustomed to. We cannot imagine not having a Filipino restaurant or store nearby for instance. We cannot borrow money from anyone when we are short of cash. We have to make do with what we have and very quickly, we realize if we are not careful, we’ll ran into a huge credit card debt! And if we cannot even muster the minimum payment every month, it will cost us a good credit rating. A nightmare when one is ready to borrow for a car or a house because you will get the highest interest rate in the market.
Then the blues come when all is quiet, at night. Most especially when the air gets cooler and the holidays are nearing or are here. We get homesick. Terribly homesick! We start wondering whether we made a mistake in being so eager to leave our homeland. We regret leaving a job where we were respected and may have established ourselves in mid-management. We miss our family, our friends, our food, our language, the warm weather, and definitely our culture renowned for being easy-going.
All immigrants go through the same phase which only becomes easier when we simply wait for the time when we have acclimatized. It takes 18 months at least to get into the swing of things. We have to be patient with ourselves as we don’t adapt so quickly. Amazingly, children are more adaptable. They explore the neighborhood, make friends, and learn the language faster, much faster than their parents. At school, while the first few days are approached with much trepidation, in a week’s time, they are like ducklings swimming in the pond! They are having fun! As we continue to compare the country, we just left to this new one — a mistake which creates more difficulty in adapting to our new country.
So, be optimistic and take one day at a time. Just as adjusting to a new pair of shoes, give yourself time to grow and be comfortable in your new environment. Life is an adventure, after all! A positive attitude is definitely going to go a long way in making you move a plus in the end.
Before you know it, you will be welcoming your own family and friends to your new home!
******