After several decades of being a witness and at times participant in the celebration of Valentine’s Day, I am not even sure that a Valentine is a man or a woman, or a child or even esteemed dead ancestors. I can accept though it is gender neutral, asexual, not age specific and not time bound. As commemorated or remembered across Christian denominations the Day of Hearts among lovers becomes the undying symbol of veneration of a creature extricated from the ribs of the first man. Over many millenniums after the falling out from Eden, Valentine’s day as celebrated in many countries could well be a genuflect of respect and affection to man’s partner.
When I search for meanings in life, I turned to memories of my paternal and maternal grandparents. Lolo and Lola for my Itay’s parents; Mamay and Nanay for Inay’s parents. Two set of grandparents I spent time growing up with them until I lost them one by one after I finished College. My four grandparents along with my Itay and Inay I realized now were my best unintended sources of principles and values; were easy examples of good behavior.
During those times, I don’t remember anything to be suggestive of Valentine’s Day nor the need for one. Perhaps there was stronger love between my Lolos and Lolas when by the use of their eyes, behind those glances and piercing stares there were enough knowledge for words that need not be said or for actions that must be done. As partners and lovers for life, in sickness and in health as the nuptial officiating priest commands them, there was no external (business and commerce) intrusive influence to show love’s constancy and permanence. Life was a demonstration of how men really understood their women—their Valentines.
I doubt very much whether my Lolos and Lolas knew or have heard the classics: poetry-laden affairs like those of William and Anne Shakespeare, Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning; nor the rich in suspense and adventure like the loves of Paris and Helen of Troy, Tristan and Isolde; nor like the tragic teen love affair of Romeo and Juliet.
Real life love affairs that endure and ending in side-by-side graves or in a single tombstone are best remembered if the couple had done something positive for the national and in the public interest like those of Jose and Josephine Rizal, Andres and Gregoria Bonifacio, Diego and Gabriela Slang; and Ninny and Cory of our time.
No matter how history has judged them Adolf and Eva Hitler, Benito and Donna Racheal Mussolini (Benito killed with his paramour Clarita Peace were hanged upside down in a plaza), Nicolai and Elena Ceausescu, etc. these couples celebrated and lived Valentine in their own passion.
It is different and more cerebral now for me and my wife as third generation grandchildren we are now grandparents of sixth generation grandchildren. If two of our older granddaughters marry and beget children in five years’ time, if still around we will be great grandparents (Lolo at Lola sa Tuhod). Nowadays February as the month of hearts, February 14 as Valentine’s Day dominates the consciousness and pocketbooks of most couples all over the Christian world. This “heart” thing resonates and strengthens the bonds between two individuals regardless of how recent or how long ago the attraction or union started. Valentine’s Day separates us from the birds and the bees or the penguins as the most faithful of partners.
Like my children when I was their age their paternal and maternal grandparents had all passed on. Although my children’s children still have us and our Balaes (no English word for that) as aging, living Valentines. As for Vicky and me, we value and savor our dwindling Valentine’s Day. Glad that we still have with us our Sixth Generation Valentines. How do they look? May be BALITA could post the collage photo I made for them. Isn’t it the essence of God when, down and across the corridors of time, everyone in one’s bloodline is one’s Valentine.