“If I’m an advocate for anything, it’s to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the River. Walk in someone else’s shoes or at least eat their food. It’s a plus for everybody.” – Anthony Bourdain.
When news broke out that Anthony Bourdain committed suicide by hanging on June 8, 2018 while filming an episode for CNN’s Parts Unknown in France, I could only mutter one word: WHY?
He had it all: fame, money, exciting job, loved by millions. Yet they were never enough to prevent him from thinking that his life was no longer worth living. I wondered if he was encouraged by Kate Spade, the American fashion designer icon, who also committed suicide by hanging on June 5, 2018. I guess we always assume that because all celebrities are living an extraordinary life that they are immune to stress, anxiety, failures, and problems. We put them on a pedestal that when they succumb to life’s hardship, we are surprised that they are as fragile and weak as we are. Still Tony has left a mark that cannot be denied. Kudos for CNN for publishing a book, Anthony Bourdain Remembered, that includes pictures, comments, messages, and tributes “that could be revisited over time and appreciated slowly, like a long, enjoyable meal with a close friend.” I am using it as a reference to complete this essay.
I came to know Anthony Bourdain by accident. One Sunday night I switched to CNN at around 9pm when an episode of the Parts Unknown was shown. I don’t remember where the location was but the narrator had this pleasing voice that could pull your attention in an instant. At first I was curious about the food and how Tony relished all the dishes that were on the table. He was not afraid to taste them all, always appreciative of his hosts’ effort. He didn’t judge and made genuine connection with everybody. Then to top it all, he was also reporting about the history, culture, problems, and beauty of the place he visited. He was not only a food connoisseur but a journalist as well.
One episode I saw was when he went to Manila and enjoyed the kare-kare prepared by the Lola matron of the family who once worked in the United States as a live-in nanny (see picture p. 196). Then there was a scene where he was with young Filipinos in a band having late dinner and discussing music and politics. And finally, there he was, on a bright day, sitting on a bench enjoying a serving of halo-halo (p. 20). How he could just sit there without fanfare and in an undistinguished setting; he was quite remarkably unpretentious.
Another was a sit-down lunch with Barack Obama at a no-frills restaurant in Hanoi, Vietnam, enjoying a bowl of pho soup and a beer (p. 46). For a former president to accept the invitation in a plain-featured location, it tells us that these two men preferred a more relaxed environment than the stiffness of a fancy restaurant. Not that they were being cheap or what not.
Like some of the commentators in the book, I watched the show to see other places. In my lifetime, for sure, I will never get to travel that much no matter how I wish it. So I was using Tony’s show as a proxy. Joli M wrote: “His desire to explore the world, and to learn about the people he encountered, served to make social curiosity ‘cool’…By inviting us all to journey with him, teasing us with glimpses of exotic locales, foods, events, and lifestyles, he slyly showed us that we are all more alike than different. He reminded us that, however diverse in ideology, circumstance, or religion we might be, there is room at the table for everyone, and that civil conversation and common ground can be better cultivated when breaking bread together, especially with a good bottle of wine (p. 45).”
Abby R chimed in: “It’s hard to put into words the impact Anthony Bourdain had on my life. My family wasn’t able to travel much growing up, but Anthony was there to open my eyes to the magic of adventure, food and the unknown. He was my idol, my first crush, my direct line to the rest of the world from my living room. So many of my own adventures have stemmed directly from emulating Anthony’s openness, warmth, and inquisitiveness. I can’t imagine a world without him in it, and I can’t thank him enough for being my TV friend in times when I had no one else (p.50).”
Tony was approachable, got along well with everybody and had good listening ears. “He was willing to listen — something he as a loquacious man,” Jen Agg said, “perhaps doesn’t get enough credit for…and had an incredible skill for listening and hearing what’s really being said (p.95).” Emily C added, “He had an amazing ability to interact and create conversation between strangers and anyone he met (p.128).”
His impact to so many people was immense. He was a global influencer who could reach even in far remote places. Eric Ripert, also a chef and author, who appeared in some episodes of Parts Unknown said: “Anthony was my best friend. He was an exceptional human being, so inspiring and generous. One of the great storytellers of our time who connected with so many around the world on a level rarely seen. He brought us all on some incredible journeys (p.26).” Jose Andres, another famous chef from Spain, commented: “It’s easy to love Tony. You can see it. He’s the most caring person I’ve ever met. That’s why I’m happy and proud to call him a friend (pp.36 – 37).” But here’s Nita, a stranger, who had more to say: “My mother had passed away, and one night I was watching him. Feeling lost and alone, I decided I was buying a plane ticket to Asia, one-way, packing a backpack, and going off the grid. I was going to eat with locals, and see the parts of Asia that I thought would only be a dream. I was going to find peace in losing my best friend and mother through travel and food. I would like to think if he would have ever known my story, he would have been proud of a fifty-year-old single woman leaving the East Coast (US) and finding my way to new friends and an open mind to try anything even if I did not know what I was eating or even where I was going on a seven-week trip (p. 34).”
Tony’s reporting of the country he showcased in each episode was better than attending a class in history. In few minutes, he covered the most basic details in terms of the history, culture and problem of the place. His narration was superb. Pierre Thiam, a chef from Senegal, West Africa, said: “I always loved my country, but I think Tony was able to see a beauty that we can’t see. He was showing the beauty in things that we don’t particularly find beautiful (pp. 52-53).” Tiffany W explained: “I regularly showed the Iran and Nigeria episodes of Parts Unknown in my high school comparative politics course. In Iran, he celebrated the beauty of ancient traditions that exists alongside religious fundamentalism and the oppression of journalist. In Nigeria, he painted a complicated portrait of cosmopolitanism and emerging economic power with extreme poverty and government corruption. Yes, he loved to sample the world’s food and drinks, but used food and cooking and eating to explain some of the most basic sources of joy and meaning and pride that people can get out of life. Through these shows, he challenged Westerners (especially Americans) to question our perception and judgments of other cultures, to acknowledge history, and to embrace our common humanity (p. 92).”
On February 14, 2021, Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy premiered on CNN to fill in the void from Tony’s Parts Unknown for the Sunday viewers. The show was just a straight food commentary and not in the same league as the Parts Unknown. It didn’t last long and CNN cancelled it in December 2022.
It would perhaps be an exaggeration to say that there’s a hole in my life after Tony’s death. It would be truer to talk about missing the guy. “For many of us,” Lucas Peterson, a travel writer for The New York Times, wrote, “he was not just another writer or personality to admire. He was literally who we wanted to be…Mr. Bourdain knew better than anyone that travel and food were the two things that could hope to heal a fractured world (p. 175).” My virtual travelling with Tony ended with his death but according to Tom Collicchio, “Tony’s restless spirit will roam the earth in search of justice, truth, and a great bowl of noodles. (p. 192).” Still I look forward to actual travelling again when the pandemic is over because as Tony implored us: “Travel isn’t often pretty. It isn’t often comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind (p. 207).”
23 November 2023
