If you’ve lived long enough in this great Earth of ours, I assume that you’ve experienced excruciating pressures from family members, friends, and neighbors to do certain things although that “thing” may go against your conscience. Although that “thing” go against what is right.
How many times have you been invited to attend a party when you feel so tired, where you may have a possible close encounter with people you hate?
Have you been asked to run errands when the person who makes the request doesn’t exert any effort?
As a teenager, how many times have you been pressured to drink an unknown substance and to “snort” some street drugs simply because it’s cool?
Have relatives and friends made you feel guilty so you won’t say “No?”
How many times have you been outrageously accused by some acquaintances so you can grant their unfair and inappropriate requests?
Let me focus on this last one since I’ve seen many friends go through this unfortunate incident. After they’ve done their best to help, they’re still being portrayed like a villain and harmfully accused of being unfair, of not doing enough, of favoring other friends and relatives.
The issue here is control. They want to control you by making you feel bad. As bad as it may sound, you still need to deal with it.
What are the ways to cope with this situation?
Ignore the accusation
After you’ve done everything, including sacrifice your own time and resources just to help, it’s painful and unhealthy to be accused. But you need to understand you can’t please everyone all the time. The best recourse: dismiss the accusation, take proper actions as stated here, and move on with your life.
Continue doing what is appropriate under the circumstances. As long as you know your stand and your contribution, there’s nothing for you to worry. You may not know it but most people remain rational and understand your significant role.
Never give in
The reason some people resort to false accusation is because they feel that this may be the only course of action to get what they want. Well sorry but this is the wrong way to influence anyone. How can something that irritates you persuade you in any way?
Never give in. Say a strong “No” and don’t change your stance. The moment you say yes to the pressure, inappropriate behavior will persist and will be reinforced. The false accusation will soon be sensed as true.
Seek an apology
It’s healthy to reach out and sacrifice your time and resources to help others. But you can’t compromise self-respect, and you can’t allow anyone to trample on it. Self-respect is your sole possession — from birth to death.
For anyone who wrongs you and falsely accuses you, ask for a verbal or written apology. By doing this, you send a strong message that a line is drawn, that they should take ownership of their mistakes, and that they take responsibility for their unjustified actions.
Do what is right
Under pressure, do what is right and do what you feel is appropriate. And never do anything, such as giving in and reinforcing their behavior, which you will regret later. Never let them control you through unconstructive means. But instead show control of the situation by taking necessary actions — ignore the accusation, stand firm, say no, and seek apology.
After you’ve applied these essential steps, only then can you truly move on.