After three agonizing years of untreatable illness, my father (Papa as we fondly call him) finally succumbed and quietly passed away this month. Over the years, I’d seen him fought long and hard, using his every strength, humor, and motivation to get physically and emotionally better. But his aged body had to give up . . . And it finally gave up with no chance of return.
I have so many fond memories of Papa that his death has only magnified his significance. Death hasn’t dampened our admiration for him but in fact has expanded our love.
How can we ever forget him?
After all, his funny, true-to-life experiences that he shared in every family gathering had elicited loud and endless laughter. After all, his frequent motivational talks during our time together made me believe that I could never fail, that I could pursue any goals I set my mind to.
In our community, my father had been considered “different.” Some people would laugh at him as he drove his rundown motorcycle around town. Unlike most people of his age who would display decent, designer clothes the moment they stepped outside their homes, Papa would simply go out in shirt and shorts.
By his looks, he didn’t and couldn’t command respect from the politicians, the rich, or the professionals.
His being “different” was further displayed by his philosophies in life that ran counter to conventional wisdom. For instance, he was ready and quick to borrow money just so his children could get good education. He stressed, “Just focus on your studies. Learn as much as you can. And never worry about money. We can borrow (or loan) money but not knowledge and skills.”
Also, he strongly stressed the need to earn a university degree (for example, BS, PhD, LlB, etc.). He believed, “Success is when you’re able to add two or more letters before or after your name. If you can add those extra letters, you will never worry as jobs will chase after you.” Amazing insight!
Because of his sense of humor and his practical philosophies, he earned the admiration of many simple folks. He never tried to befriend everyone and yet so many people in our community — both young and old — had made friends with him.
What inspired me the most was his dedication to his goal and his willingness to sacrifice so he could reach his aspirations. I vividly remember how he learned to be a chef at age 55 and worked in a foreign land for a few years. Away from his family and friends and the comforts of home, he willingly faced loneliness and hardships just to earn enough money so he could send me to medical school.
His belief in my abilities never wavered despite loads of challenges. For instance, when I received a failing mark in medical school, I remember how he swiftly dismissed his co-worker’s negative comments that I couldn’t graduate. In fact, he chided him that there was no way for me but up. “He’s down now so his only choice is to move up.”
Of course just like any human being, he had experienced countless mistakes and failures that he felt guilty about. But he ensured that those flaws would translate to corrections and successes. During the whole process, he had given his unconditional love to his family.
Now we’ve lost him. We feel the pain even as we try to understand the meaning of his death. No amount of tears can express our anguish from within.
But what else can we ask for? His mission is accomplished! And so his Maker has taken him back.
I’m sure our small community in the Philippines misses his presence. His friends, neighbors, and family surely miss his humor and the resounding laughter. Indeed, the old, ailing man that had brightened their days is gone.
However, our loss is his gain in the spiritual realm. I deeply thank God for giving us a dedicated and loving father. In gratitude, we say goodbye to you Papa.
Happy Father’s day!