Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato, Greek philosophers whose names are familiar to us, were among the first recorded, to deeply examine human existence. They wrestled with compelling ideas such as morality, happiness, and the purpose of life. They speculated that there are universal truths and used those truths to teach a system of justice and law based on human nature and virtue. As such, the ancient Greek philosophers left us valuable wisdom that gratefully has survived through the ages. Many of their lessons still ring true today.
Upon careful thought and consideration, the Greek philosophers advocated that of the many virtues deemed desirable to cultivate, gratitude is foremost. They called it the Father of all Virtues. Free, costs nothing to anyone yet, so very difficult to express. Perhaps it is because we believe we are somehow entitled to anything we receive without giving the giver any acknowledgement. Crediting ourselves alone for our current status or the marked improvement in our state of affairs is not uncommon. Our ego wants to take all the accolade, after all. Often it is hard for us to acknowledge that we wouldn’t be where we are today, had the giver/s not decided to give that advice, assistance, or any help in any shape or form; even just a great idea we followed, that led us to where we are today. Many may have even resisted the offer as the ego always believes one can manage without anybody’s help. Unfortunately, no man is an island. No matter, it is a mystery that it does not come easy for us to accept the reality that we have been a recipient of some kind of help.
The Greek philosophers must have considered gratitude the Father of all Virtues because they realized that people have the greatest difficulty in expressing it, albeit even then.
To illustrate, the parable of the “Ten Lepers” in the Bible comes to mind. As the story goes, Jesus healed ten lepers: one of His many, many charitable acts. All went on their way happily after being freed from the disease. One looked back. While the rest went on their way. However, one amongst the ten went back to thank Jesus. To think that they were all living in secret caves, fed secretly by charitable people, shunned, and shamed by society and forgotten by their own families! So, you would think that they would have been enormously happy, overjoyed, and exceedingly grateful! Beyond their wildest imagination, they are now clean and free of deformities and lesions caused by the disease of leprosy or modern-day term, Hansen’s disease. By the way, the latter has not been totally eradicated. In the United States alone, 100 people receive a leprosy diagnosis every year. Besides humans, nine-banded armadillos are the only animals that carry M. leprae, the bacteria that causes leprosy.
Going back to the parable, only one of the ten lepers came back to say, “Thank you!” wholeheartedly, kneeling in gratitude to Jesus. That was 2,000 years ago! Yet, in our modern and supposedly civilized world, gratitude seems to be rarer still as we have developed arrogance and narcissism in unprecedented proportions. Feeling we deserve to be given everything we get. Notwithstanding that the giver could have opted not to have done it. One quickly forgets that anyone could have ignored and said, “No,” to the person who needed help. And that would have been the end of it. We would have been exactly where we were! We are not talking about our daily perfunctory “Thank you” when we are going about our daily transactions, such as receiving our change from the cashier at the grocery. That “thank you” is just an automatic reflex and is no longer fully and sincerely meant.
One cannot surmise any particular generation that is plagued with the feeling of entitlement. We could all be guilty of this lack of gratitude or grace. This is not a cultural, generational, or societal issue. It could be a mental health issue when one has an over-inflated ego of self-importance when we are never grateful nor happy with whatever we receive. Often, people even find fault with the Giver despite enjoying what was received! What is even more amazing is that the recipient often times even diminish the value of what has been received, dragging the giver along with it, as inconsequential.
People who borrow money for instance, get upset, even angry when there is a call to clear the debt, as promised. Relationships have been broken because of unkept promises to pay what is owed. It actually is unbelievable, but true. Unfortunately, there are those of us who value money more than dignity, integrity, and credibility. A good name doesn’t seem to matter to many anymore. Whereas in the past, keeping one’s word is the cornerstone of one’s reputation.
Fortunately, many people still believe that lending a helping hand to someone who is in need is good. Especially amongst Filipinos who are by nature giving, and albeit, gullible. It feels good to help until one realizes that the drama was just an act of manipulation and extortion. Unfortunately, this even happens within families and amongst family members. Lying to get what one wants seems to be commonplace nowadays, without any compunction and guilt. It is a simple supposition that the other party can easily afford such a scam. More shockingly, it happens amongst any nationality, culture, color, creed, and country. Do we perhaps need some moral rehabilitation, if we cannot even say, “Thank you for your help. It changed my life.”
Gratitude is a wonderful virtue to practice as well as impart to our youth. It is so refreshing and admirable when we hear a young person take the time to express gratitude. A short telephone call, a card, anything that expresses appreciation is always welcome. It shows thoughtfulness and grace. It elicits good manners and impeccable conduct. It makes one’s day brighter when we receive an expression of gratitude. The person becomes unforgettable, in nice way. A recollection that always shines and makes one smile, with a good feeling that one indeed did a good thing. “Masarap din naman ang makatanggap ng kunswelo.” No doubt, positive karma has been sown.
All is not lost when we cultivate gratitude as a habit. As they say, “It is not the cost that counts, but the thought that went into it that matters.” “Basta nakaalala, dapat pasalamatan.” “Kung nakatulong sa buhay natin, lalu na!” Size or cost doesn’t count, it was given in goodwill, just the same.
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