As millions of Filipinos celebrate November 1, All Saints Day, by honoring and remembering their loved ones who have passed on, I am reminded, in a moving and heartfelt way, of how a loving mother’s deep and boundless love for her daughter, who has passed on (in the prime of her life). She has kept her memory and legacy alive in a profoundly meaningful way –through community projects. These projects are continuing to touch and impact the lives of others, especially in the Philippines.
I was especially moved by the letter or message the accomplished and dynamic mother and friend sent me, a part of which says —
“After she transitioned to her new life in the great beyond, I had a compelling need for her to remain relevant. I asked God “Is this it? Has she disappeared into thin air like a champagne bubble? These thoughts were driving me mad (insane). She had to be still in this world doing good for as long as I live.”
These poignant thoughts impelled her to initiate and give life to some projects which did indeed made (and are still making) a huge difference to a small community in the Philippines. I will elaborate more on the second part of this article in the next issue.
It is an inspiring story and hopefully may motivate of other grieving persons (for whatever reason one is grieving about) to channel their energies to other productive endeavors. It reminds me of the universal principle that we are all connected to each other. Just as when the 16th century English poet John Donne wrote –
“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
MEDITATION XVII, Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, John Donne
Whether we like it or not, we are never alone. My friend somehow has grasped this principle of life, in the sense that there is a natural desire in each of us to reach out to others. And verily, even just our thoughts affect the whole world. What more our words and actions, which are actually, the manifestation of our thoughts.
Her dearly transitioned daughter Bianca left a wonderful 6 year old son who is now growing beautifully, thanks to the loving care of his abuelita and other family members. My friend has creatively thought of a heartwarming and light-hearted way to have her grandson (Bianca’s son) continue to feel his mother’s love. It is a monthly ritual which awakens the child in my friend as well.
I think that for most of us, adults, resurrecting the child in each one of us could do a world of good. In my experience, I find that, more often than not, there is wisdom in innocence. We could use some of that simple child-like frequencies today. Not childish though. Childish energies are usually ego-centered or self-centered, while childlike energies flow outward to others in relation to one’s self. So far, that is what I have surmised from my experiences in life. You may have other thoughts about the matter. That is what makes life interesting – diversity and yet with so much in common within that diversity. And the interdependence or inter-relatedness of everything and everyone is truly wondrous to behold.
WILTON, CONNECTICUT IS SOMEHOW CHANGING MY VIEW OF THE U.S.
Speaking of interdependence — my husband and I just came from a visit in the awesome 4 acre meadowland home of Carla and Peter Brooks, and my sister in law Betty Taylor Escoda, in Wilton, Connecticut. I have never felt at one with nature as I did staying in their perfect paean to nature of a home. I do not mean that their home is extravagant or flashy.
I found the perfect balance of living with nature and yet having the necessary conveniences. The concept of the architecture I found so refreshing – mid- century modern with very strong Japanese zen influence.
Living them for a week in their nature haven gave me a lesson on how animals and plants are interdependent just as how human beings and animals and plants interact with each other for ecological balance. I could go on about this for hours but suffice it to say that the week we were there was a valuable lesson which, I trust, will stick and make a difference in my life.
With this, and that of Bianca and her mother, the indefatigable and resilient Rosalie Roth Montenegro, I leave you these thoughts to mull over and will fill you in on more details on the saga of the admirable and inspiring projects of RRM which are now, as I write, changing lives in the Philippines, in the second part of REMEMBERING BIANCA in the next issue of Balita.
Tessie Ochangco Taylor