Having to outlive your child is a terribly tragic event in anyone’s life. We all agree that one will not want to wish it upon anybody. But then life takes twists and turns which may not always be to our liking. Like in the case of a good friend whose child passed on over a year ago after a lingering illness. They had access to the best that science could offer but to no avail.
With deep sadness, the child had to go at the time she did. For a while, the mother kept thinking and felt that she did not do enough for her child, which was definitely not true. But lately, I found it quite edifying to know that she has, since then, funneled those energies to putting up activities and projects which keeps the bright and loving memories of her beloved child alive and, even more meaningful, relevant to the lives of others as well.
Bianca, which was the child’s name, was a voracious reader (in her mom’s words, a “thirsty learner”) as a result, was a master at trivial pursuit. Add to this, even though she grew up with the elite and led a privileged life, she was kind and gentle. She always had a ready ear (and heart) for everyone, and took to heart, literally and figuratively, a stanza from the Desiderata poem which was framed in her mom’s office at Citibank at that time.
“ Speak your truth quietly and clearly
And listen to others
Even the dull and ignorant.
They too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons
They are vexations to the spirit.”
Her high school classmates recalled an anecdote in school, upon asking Bianca, or Binks, as her family and close friends called her, why she took time to make friends with the so-called “baduys” in their school, she would quote this line of Desiderata, adding that “when you get to know them, they can really be quite interesting.”
My good friend, her mom, found this out during the formal launching of JUST B, a scholarship program she just started with her daughter’s former school where she took up high school before going on to university in Quezon City. I really think this is a perfect way to keep the memories of her daughter Bianca alive while at the same time sharing B’s love for knowledge and learning.
As if this was not enough, my friend also put her energies and resources together to donate boats to fishermen who lost their boats during a typhoon. B. loved the beach and going out to sea.
In my friend’s words “ Now she is out everyday with the fishermen and I am sure helping them to have a bountiful catch.” What a beautiful thought! And a concrete and meaningful way to help others as well. I thought I would share the story of my friend who, thankfully, is on her way to transforming her deep grieving to consequential ways of being a boon to others.
May she find peace and comfort in these heart-warming and practical endeavours. Her daughter Bianca Montenegro Moran would be very proud of her mother indeed!
Speaking of transitions — it was with sadness and a sense of our own mortality that I found out that Kitchie Ortega Benedicto had passed on in the Philippines. I was not that close to her but she was a symbol of an era for some of us. Especially for those in the television broadcasting industry in the Philippines in the 70s and 80s.
She was the head of Kanlaon Broadcasting System (KBS Channel 9) and launched Superstar with Nora Aunor, John and Marsha with Dolphy, and many other top-rated shows together with sister station Intercontinental Broadcasting Corporation (IBC – 13) which also had their share of blockbuster and trail-blazing television shows like Iskul Bukol with Tito, Vic and Joey, Tarzan (the foreign series), T.O.D.A.S. with the lot of Spanky Rigor, Joey de Leon, the Sotto brothers et al, C.U.T.E with then 13 year old Sharon Cuneta and her aunt Helen Gamboa, Nothing But the Truth with the late (and great) Inday Badiday.
My condolences to her family especially to her children and the Ortegas –especially to Kit Ortega. Where are you Kit?
But hark and hearten! Life goes on, as it is and always does. After all, life would not be life if there is no life. If anyone finds this cryptic or perplexing, then forget what I just wrote. Just go on with what you are doing — be it tending to your garden, mowing your lawn, refinishing your desk like my friend Ining Calaguio has been doing these days (keep up the good work, Ining!), marathon viewing online with Chinese dramas (like me!).
Speaking of C dramas — I found new dramas online which I will enthuse about in my next This & That column. Till then, get on with life and be safe!*******