Another year has come and gone, and what an incredible story of faith it has been for BALITA and Ruben, its ailing Publisher. Both have fared well despite great odds.
It was Ruben’s second year in rehab since he suffered a stroke on January 3, 2005. Initially given up as a hopeless case, it would be God’s will that he recover and later move to a rehab hospital to heal.
On those times that I needed to work on BALITA, Ruben’s condition would ease up, allowing me to leave his side. We met all deadlines. More importantly, we came up with what I believe to be great issues.
Indeed, we were truly blessed to end this year on a high note, and we have God and all of you- family, friends, advertisers and readers- to thank for.
On that fateful day when my husband complained of blurred vision and severe headache I called an ambulance at once. Ruben was diagnosed at the hospital with bleeding in the right side of the brain. He was subsequently stabilized in an induced coma and placed on ventilator at the intensive care unit.
At our first family meeting with the doctor the prognosis was immediately disheartening and ominous. Ruben had suffered greatly and because this was his second stroke there was not much hope. Only a miracle would save him.
He was transferred to another room under the care of a different doctor, presumably to await the inevitable. Knowing Ruben to have a strong will to live I kept faith with him and reached up to the Lord.
I stayed with him day and night in vigil and in prayer. I was away only briefly to change clothes at home. I wanted that if he ever opened his eyes I would be there to reassure him, that I would be the first one he would see.
How he was treated in that hospital was appalling. After they pronounced him beyond hope there was no attempt to cure him. Although he was kept on medication no individualized care management plan was put in place to restore him to health.
My pleas and discussions for them to do something, sometimes becoming outbursts in anger out of sheer frustration, fell on deaf ears. From the Head Nurse down to the PSW in that hospital wing, they stuck to their bias that Ruben would die. Worse of all they kept telling me to prepare for his funeral already.
One doctor I talked to over the phone even said that from her experience no one in Ruben’s condition ever survived. When we finally met I saw that she was young and must have just graduated. I could not control my rage and told her, “What experience are you talking about? How dare you give my husband a death sentence, what the hell do you know?”
By God’s graces Ruben eventually regained consciousness. His recovery was labored and his breathing machine, tracheotomy and feed tube gave him discomfort such that he would pull them off.
Immensely encouraged, we kept the lifeline going. Family and friends came in streams as much as hospital policy allowed. It did not matter that they could only whisper to him to keep his hopes up. Ruben did not disappoint- he would nod his head or moved a finger in response. As we held prayer sessions in his room it seemed to calm him down.
Understandably, a belied hospital’s reaction was guarded. When I discussed putting him on a wheelchair so he would have a change of position the physiotherapist would say he was not ready. After consulting with other authorities on the matter I was convinced the hospital really had no plan to help him. I decided to take control- I insisted they put Ruben on his wheelchair and wheeled him around the hospital.
One day while I was briefly away from the hospital a new doctor, who had replaced Ruben’s regular doctor, phoned me. He said my husband’s system was beginning to shut down and that he was dying. In a hasty meeting in a private room, he asked for permission to give Ruben a heavy dose of morphine to make him comfortable.
I remember slamming the door in shock and running back to Ruben’s side. Insistent, the doctor approached and repeated the same thing to my son Anthony who was there with me. I held Ruben’s hand in prayer. To my amazement his blood pressure began to normalize.
One weekend, Ruben had pulled his tube feed out so I pointed it to the nurse. She said there was no one who could put it back until Monday. When I asked how the poor fellow could eat the nurse thought I could not understand so she called another Filipino nurse to explain it to me in our language.
That offended me to no end and she probably got what she deserved. The next day she threatened to complain to the head nurse about me. I told her, “Complain all you want. Complain to the Pope, and I would not even care”.
Towards the end of his stay in that hospital, I asked the Hospital Administrator for a reassessment, what was ahead in terms of Ruben’s recovery. Surprisingly as a result, the oxygen was removed, and the tracheotomy was covered. The nurses remained cynical as ever, saying no rehab or long-term care facility would accept him in his condition.
That’s when the friends’ network was mobilized. Through their help, friends who were staff at the Toronto Rehab Hospital at 130 Dunn Avenue worked for Ruben’s admission there. Right away it was a good fit for Ruben because he adjusted positively, eagerly anticipating his rehab exercises, and feeling at home especially with the friendly and supportive Filipino staff.
What a difference it was in terms of medical care! I like to think that feisty Ruben survived Hell in the first hospital through God’s blessings. Deep inside I knew it was a miracle he was able to pull through. In the Rehab Centre through Filipino-style professional nurturing and deep love Ruben was on to reclaim his life. They had restored my faith in the system.
As we greet the year 2008 at home together we are hopeful it will be another year of blessings, of glad tidings and joy in the family, of good friends and good relationships with everyone, and of a continuing journey with the Lord.
Best of all, we are grateful that we are able to serve our community through the pages of BALITA. For this we thank our BALITA STAFF whom we consider to be our second family. And for making all of it possible we give special thanks to our advertisers and readers for your continuing support.
There will be the usual challenges but considering what Ruben and I have gone through in the past we can only resolve to face up squarely to whatever life throws our way. We accept that he may not get back to where he was before, that he is destined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I know it is hard for him at times, clinging to his dignity and being totally dependent on others and me. But it must be destiny as only God has willed.
We are grateful we still got each other, that we can tease one another, laugh a lot, hug a lot, love a lot and sometimes shed tears together. Behind today are loads of happy times and sad moments we now reminisce about. It is a life well lived for both of us and everyday comes as a gift.
We will support and nurture each other as we go along with all the hopes for more years of togetherness.
But if it is God’s will to end the journey then we’ll lose with no regret because we are together and that we have faith, loyalty and the strong love and devotion for each other till the end.
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